Meg O’Neill
Head of Climate Destruction (Gas Giant Woodside)
Dear Ms O’Neill
Re: “It’s the children who are wrong”.
We, the many young people of Australia, write to sincerely and graciously thank you for comments outlining our own supposed hypocrisy in fighting for a safe climate while daring to shop online.
Although the scientific consensus is that, because of fossil fuel giants like Woodside, our generation will experience total climate breakdown, catastrophic weather events, mass extinctions, societal and economic collapse – we were astounded to read that all of this somehow pales in significance to kids buying a Chubby Seal Plush Pillow online for $5.90.
As you would be aware, us young whippersnappers are always receptive to being lectured to by Baby Boomers about how we are somehow responsible for the world’s decline over the last 50 years. Because, although none of us were alive back then, you have never ceased to remind us of the role we apparently have played in the housing, climate, extinction, and other (Cuban missile?) crises which pre-date our own existence.
You appear to have neglected to mention Woodside’s fossil gas, emitting millions of tonnes of methane every year, and your plans to extend the North West Shelf project several decades past the point Earth is meant to have hit net-zero.
This must have been a typo on your part.
Nonetheless, we thank you for highlighting our efforts to point out your company’s actions in fuelling climate collapse through the destructive extraction and burning of fossil fuels purely for greed and profit. You may dismiss it as ‘ideology’, but we’d call it facts and science (they do in fact teach this in schools these days).
Thank you for reminding us of the need to accept responsibility for the consequences of our actions. We are in no doubt that for many years to come, your name will long be remembered for all you have done for future generations and our planet (or what is left of it).
We’ll be sure to do our part to address and improve upon the genuine issues in consumption and waste through online shopping - perhaps you can do yours by stopping the wholesale destruction of Planet Earth.
Yours Sincerely,
“Young People”